My latest stalker

Normally I wouldn't post two blogs on the same day, but I just wanted to share an email I just received from David Timerson.

Body: Hello Noah, I Told My Friend Tony Fichera To Contact You About Getting A Security Alarm For Your House Now Days People Try Doing Whatever They Want.
THIS IS NOT A THREAT.
Just A Concern.

And sure enough, a few minutes later I get another email:

Subject: You May Be In Danger!
Body: Hello, your life may be in danger. please order a FICHERA(Security System) for your home. Call (xxx-xxx-xxxx). thanks.
Tony-Fichera.

Okay, first off... David. I have asked you repetitively to STOP EMAILING ME. This is what, the 10th email or so in a period of 5 days? I continue blocking your email addresses, yet you keep making new Gmail accounts. What the hell. Cut it out. You are wasting valuable minutes of my day, however humorous your emails may be.

So once again let me summarize everything for you. "I do not want your babies." Have a good day.

My stressful week

Last week I took things easy. For 5 days I did nothing but relax and have a nice time. I made a new friend during the week, and on Friday I went to the opera with her and then enjoyed a nice thunderstorm filled midnight dinner at R. Thomas (one of the best restaurants in Atlanta - Thanks Lucie Bean!).

Sunday, however, I came back to reality. Finals were fast approaching, and I was not fully prepared. I checked my grades for Cultural Anthropology... my midterm grade was a 32.6%. I about flipped. I immediately cleared my schedule for the next four days. I started emailing and calling people from the class, asking about study groups, and finding out if I had missed any important information from any lectures.

Only when I re-read the syllabus, did I realize that the midterm grade was out of 40%. After spending 10 minutes on the math (32.6/40), I came to the conclusion that I had an 83% in the class. I can live with a B in the class. Heck, I could even get a D, and still graduate, but I'm not a D kind of student ya know?

Anyhoo, after freaking out for several hours, I finally calmed down and started making a list of things to do in my black book. Yes, old habits die hard. When my father kicked me out of his house 3 years ago, I did the exact same thing when I was stressed. I wrote down exactly what my plans were for the day/week/month, with little checkboxes so I could visually see my progress.

Here is what I've come up with for this week so far:

Sunday: Read "Paradise in Ashes"... a 300 page, hard-hitting, ethnography about hope, terror and survival during the Guatemalan civil war. It's a real upper.

Monday: Have a meeting with Dr. Gullette, my anthropology teacher, to discuss the class and the upcoming final. Then research and make notecards for my debate on why "Rural poverty is worse than urban poverty", and finally study for a français quiz.

Tuesday: Take the français quiz, give my debate, then meet for an anthropology study group to go over all the key terms and ideas that will be on the final.

Wednesday: Write a 6-8 page paper for my Wealth, Power, and Inequality class titled, "The Institutional Racism of MARTA", then study for my anthropology final some more as well as for my social work research methods final.

Thursday: Take said finals, turn in my paper, and pat myself on the back.

Friday: Go into work for the last time this semester downtown at the courthouse, then meet up with some friends to go to the Braves vs. Mets game at 7:35pm.

Saturday: Sleep in, and perhaps go to a 50 kegger in Athens in the evening.

Lynsey F. told me about the party on Saturday. When I was in HS, I threw a 2 kegger and a pony party once... and we probably had 100 people show up, so I can only imagine how many people 50 kegs can attract in a college town. Maybe I'll run into my sister, ha!

So far I am on track, according to the schedule in the black book... I just have to write my paper, study for the two tests, and I'll be done for this week! That study group I mentioned by the way... took 4 hours. I was away from my house today for almost 12 hours. Crazy, I know! I arrived home just in time for Scrubs tonight. Which reminds me, I was supposed to call Jen Moss back, but I fell asleep as soon as Scrubs ended. I'll call you soon and we can discuss the finer details of what we were discussing, mmkay?

So yeah, this week is super, SUPER busy, and I apologize that I haven't had any time to call or talk or go out with people I normally call and talk and go out with. I'll make up for everything this weekend, promise.

Oh, and if anyone wants to come with us to the Braves game, just let me know. We haven't purchased tickets yet, so we'll probably just grab some $15 seats at the last minute. No real commitment is necessary; just be spontaneous and call my cell on Friday!

My week in review

This past week has been filled with lots of yummy goodness (a new phrase I've picked up). I went to Stone Mountain with John Beerman, Amanda Smith, Lamb & Dana the J on Saturday. Word on the street is a bunch of people I knew were also at the laser show, but I wouldn't have known, the place was packed out due to the holiday weekend!

I sat on the softest (that's a grammatical superlative btw) blanket ever made! Good ol' Georgia Tech. They must have had a helluva engineer design that thing. We ate subs and enjoyed classic southern music complimented by fireworks. We also played the "letters game." I lost. Good times!

After Stone Mountain, we all went out to eat at Taco Mac, where the infamous "Nipple Twister" occurred. I now present to you the video, Dana is recording:

[Edit: I removed the movie from auto-playing due to a strange active-x popup. You can still download it by clicking the link above]

Yes. That was pure pain on my face with a slight dash of surprise. I was NOT expecting the nipple twister. I thought we were playing the stare-down game! Which apparently I lost as well.

Which all brings me to the end of my weekend, and the start of a marvelous Monday. I love Monday's, always have, always will. This past Monday, however, was especially good... because I had the pleasure of speaking to Miss Laurel Bernel.

She called me that evening and we ended up chatting for a good 6 hours, 30 minutes (not that anyone is counting), and seemed to hit it off. She took my Dating Questionnaire and scored a very solid and respectable 67 (third highest), and was an immediate fan of my "phrases" such as Kosher, Faptastic, and I KNOW!!!

The fact that she says I KNOW!!!, and is not in the process of making fun of me, *stares at Mike & Greg* already gives her super-awesome-crazy-cool-excellent bonus points! Just take a quick look at the things we have in common so far and decide for yourself:

+Nutella
+Lucky Charms
+I KNOW!!!
-Lemon when ordering Water
-Cats
+Not laughing at me when I mentioned the Questionnaire
+Having a unique name
+Doing the reach-over (no, not that kind... see the movie Singles for more information)

Then on Tuesday we talked for a good 4 hours. She told me that was unusual, because normally, the most she talks to someone on the phone is 30 minutes, unless she hasn't seen them in a long time, in which case it can last up to an hour... so 4 to 6.5 hours was simply unheard of for her. I took that as a compliment, wouldn't you?

And you know why else she is kosher? She doesn't know I am posting this blog, but when or if she does read it, I know she will not be upset that I used her first and last name in the copy, and I know she won't constantly harass me with text messages. So that, and the fact that she said she'd be my date to Kevin's wedding in May, makes it all the better. Oh, and have I mentioned that I'm quite excited to go to Kevin's wedding!?

But anyhoo, I'll be sure to post the pictures my friends took at Stone Mountain as soon as I receive them!

[Edit - No pictures of Stone Mountain yet, but I do have one of Laurel if anyone is interested in what she looks like! (She's on the left)]

My request for your future

Okay, people need to stop making babies on July 4th. I know it's the second most popular holiday to make babies (with New Years Eve taking the cake), but seriously, you guys are killing me. I have no less than 5 friends with a birthday this weekend, and I simply do not know what to do.

Actually I do know what I'm going to do. I'm going to Stone Mountain tomorrow night with John Beerman, Amanda Smith, and JLamb. I would have invited Mike, but he's seeing some guy named Seinfeld at the FOX. He purchased two tickets, but I'm not sure if he found a date yet. If he was smart he'd ask Pete Morris' sister Emily to go with him... but then again, remember who we're talking about here. Just teasing buddy.

So yeah, John and Co. are in town this weekend for Easter. I feel kind of bad though, I lied to him last night about why I couldn't hang out with him... but I PROMISE I'm going out into the "real world" on Saturday.

About three months ago I got a phone call from my elusive friend Lynsey F. You may remember her as the girl who got lost on route to my Christmas Party and decided to give up and go home? I still have her present in my car trunk. Anyhoo, she called me and asked me to reserve April 15th for her, being as it was her birthday and she wanted to go to a Braves game. I immediately wrote it down on my calendar and blocked the date off. Then about three weeks ago I received another call from Lynsey saying that she couldn't get off from work that night, and we'd have to reschedule to the 29th. No problem!

At the time, I thought it would work out perfectly because another friend named Jessie had her birthday that weekend as well. But we've since broken up (for good reason I suppose), which left the weekend free once again.

You guys may remember someone named Claire Griffith whom I met at 7:22 about 2 months ago? Well, back in March we were on the phone and she got a beep in from her mom, so she said she would call me back later. She promised, and she came through... 3 weeks later. But it's no big deal, I try not to bother people too much when it's their turn to make contact. She invites me to that Braves game again on Saturday, the 15th. Although it was conditional... if her family could make it to Atlanta this weekend, she was going with them instead, but if not I was welcome to join. So I said sure, that'd be great.

Two days ago I get a text message from my friend Elizabeth Duncan which said:

Hey are you coming to my birthday? I want to schedule my party around you so is Friday or Saturday night better?

Elizabeth, darlin'... if only you had told me about your birthday last month! I replied back asking if it was this weekend (hoping it was not), but alas it was. I told her I was planning on going to a Braves game. Her response was "Braves game: Fifty bucks. Elizabeth's birthday: Priceless" Ha. I suppose she's right, but I had already told Claire I would go to the Braves game with her. I did say I would try and stop by for her birthday party though!

So fast forward to today. I haven't heard a 100% confirmation from Claire yet, and John gave a good Stone Mountain spiel, so I told him I'd go out with the College Crew and what-not. I still plan on stopping by Elizabeth's birthday party afterwards though! Now I'm just hoping that Claire doesn't call confirming the Braves game.

But seriously, all of this could have been avoided of your parents had waited a few weeks to start making babies. I mean really... it's hot and humid outside in July. Where's the attraction? Wait till Fall or Spring like normal people! Sheesh... Let's just hope YOU learn from their mistakes.

My shared experience

I finally understand how it feels to be a girl sometimes. Don't read into that too much though, just listen to the story, mkay?

I met this girl named (name removed to protect the paranoid) the other day. Just turned 23, in graduate school, had the same phone as me (LG VX9800), and was pretty cool overall. I took her out to dinner at The Brickery so Mike could meet her. He was our server, and I tipped him 40%, so everything was kosher. We had a nice conversation over dinner about random things, but eventually the restaurant had to close down for the evening, and we had to leave.

It was too late to go out and see a movie (total cliche, I know), but I had thought ahead and brought some DVDs with me, including my favorite film Frailty. I followed her back to her house, met her mother briefly, along with her two dogs. She showed me around the house, we took some pictures with our phones (no, not that kind), and she styled my hair.

Then we went upstairs to watch a movie. We watched some romantic comedy movie starring the girl from Will & Grace. She had to hire a male escort to go to her sister's wedding or something. I cannot remember the name of the movie, not because I wasn't listening, but because it usually takes a few tries before anything anyone tells me commits to memory. I'm a much more visual person I think.

Anyhoo, after the movie I gave her a hug, and she asked that I send her a text message when I got home safely. Which was completely cool, because I ask the same of my friends all the time. Well, 99% of the time. *glares at Jen* What follows next is a transcript of text messages received and sent from that period of time until now:

Me @ 2:16am: I made it home safely. Thanks again for a lovely evening. TTYL. :)
Her @ 2:17am: Wow, that was fast. Well I'll be up if you wanna chat on here or whatnot.
Me @ 2:36am: Going to sleep. Mike's going to be calling me in 7 hours. Ack!
Her @ 2:38am: Yeah, I'm going to bed too. Do you wanna hang out on Sat. night?
Me @ 2:40am: I'll have to let you know for sure, but that might work out. Sleep well.

I oversleep. Mike only calls my cell. We were going to shoot some golf, but it ended up getting too late when I finally woke up.

Her @ 5:42pm: How was golf?
Me @ 6:46pm: Scored a +9.

That's what I figure I would have scored if I had actually gone to play golf. And I have scored that at least once before while playing Golden Tee.

Her @ 7:47pm: I don't know what that means, but congrats!
Her @ 8:50pm: Do you think that we will hang out tomorrow night?
Her @ 11:15pm: They have Golden Tee here.

Okay, I'll bite...

Me @ 11:16pm: Where are you at?
Her @ 11:22pm: Dunwoody Tavern. Am I seeing you tomorrow?

Timoree Bauer calls with a few questions regarding a class project due next week. While I was on the phone with her, Jackie calls in. I don't switch over.

Her @ 12:01am: You suck.
Me @ 12:34am: Sorry, I was on the phone with a friend helping her with a school project. Tomorrow night isn't going to work for me. Hope you had fun tonight.
Her @ 12:39am: What are you doing later? Wanna come over?
Her @ 1:02am: For some strange reason, I thought you might be into me. Oh well.
Her @ 1:42am: :-(

First off, let me say that I understand text messages are free for you to send to me, but I always go over my limit each month, so I try to keep my responses to a minimum. But just counting up the amount you sent to me vs. the amount I sent you, you win 11 to 6.

I hate to say it, but it was kind of annoying Jackie. We went out on one date. I'm flattered that you want to hang out again so soon, but my weekends are my only free time, and I try to save that time for my friends. I love being spontaneous, but I also like planning things out in advanced...

And just so everyone is aware, here is my schedule for the next few days:

Saturday: Wake up, call some friends, see who wants to hang out with me at the Dogwood Festival. Have dinner downtown, then head to a party I was invited to last month at Club Vision. I should arrive back at my house around 3am unless we get kicked out earlier.
Sunday: Wake up, call my grandmother, let her know that I'm coming down to visit for the day. I'll eat a wonderful lunch with her, and visit her neighbor's house to do some computer consulting work (15$ /hr). I plan on going grocery shopping as well as spending some quality time with both her and my grandfather in the afternoon.
Monday: Go into work at 10am. After work, take MARTA down to Turner Field, where I am meeting my friend Lynsey Free and possibly 1-2 others for the first Braves home game. Hopefully I will get home in time to study for my French test the following morning.

So yeah, now I understand how a girl feels when a guy calls and emails and text messages her constantly with little or no response on her end. People are busy, and people need space, and for every girl I've ever done that to in the past... I sincerely apologize.

My fix for traffic

I have come up with the perfect solution for Atlanta traffic. Have Spring Break every week! I'm not sure what school is off this week, but according to FOX5, half a million people are out of town. It took me 10 minutes to drive from downtown Atlanta to Sandy Springs (where my father bought me a hair cut), then about 8 minutes to drive up to Roswell AT 5PM! It was crazy cool.

Today was also gorgeous, and I feel for all you guys who were stuck inside. The weather outside makes me want to go take Rowdy for a walk in the park. Oh, and in case you didn't get... that whole "never blogging again" thing was an April's Fools Joke. If you had checked the source you would have seen the disclaimer! It was kind of funny though, I got no less than 8 phone calls or IMs asking me what was wrong, and if I was for real. It was April 1st. Nothing is for real, not even Google Romance. (sadly). I've always wondered who the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button would bring up.

Saturday night I hung out with Jen Moss. She and I are back together, as friends. I have a hard time saying no to people, so I kind of invited Mike to have some drinks with Jen and I... only I forgot to tell him she was there. (April Fools?) It was so awkward at first. Jen and I were sitting down, and Mike walks up but declines to sit with us. He said he was perfectly fine standing up. Jen almost left, but I talked her into staying. Mike finally sat down, and they ended up NOT killing each other, so it was definitely was a positive step in their relationship. Good times all around!

Anyhoo, the morale of this story is: Most of you guys have known me long enough to realize that I ALWAYS attempt to pull some lame April Fool's joke. It's a tradition after all!

My last blog

I'm done. Forget this. If you don't like what you read on my blog, THEN DON'T READ IT! Just like Jen Moss said in her blog yesterday, no one forces you to read what I write, so why does everyone have to take everything so personally? It's just stupid. I cannot stand people who insist upon being politically correct, it really is one of my pet peeves...

So whatever, I'm done with you... and you know exactly who you are and what I'm talking about. Please do not bother calling me again, as I ASSURE you I will not pick up the phone. As a matter of fact, I'm actually thinking about getting rid of my cell phone. I went for 2 years without having a cell, I can do it again with ease. That way NO ONE can bother me when I'm out, and I can selectively return phone calls as I please. Yep, that sounds AWESOME right about now.

Anyhoo, thank you to any and all who actually took what I've said this past year with a grain of salt, and if there was an issue (God forbid), took the time to TALK TO ME about it before becoming upset and jumping to conclusions.

Sorry to everyone else, but I just don't have time to deal with this kind of crap anymore. I'm way too busy with school and work to be bogged down by CHILDISH antics such as I've experienced these past two days. So goodbye and good luck.